When Inspiration Becomes Torment

For a long time, I thought inspiration was a less important aspect of art- and maybe on some level, I still kind of believe that.

But I realize now that maybe that might further from the truth than I thought. Sure, I still believe that art is a skill that needs to be practiced, honed, and learned like any other skill, but when inspiration strikes, at least for me, it strikes HARD.

Earlier this month, with a combination of this deep depression I fell into, along with looking at this image:

Then, I drew this:

Then painted this (without a reference):

And drew a large picture of this:

So, why am I showing you this process? Well, in part, I’m personally excited about this evolution of the piece (which I want to turn into a large painting), but it’s because for some reason, this character is stuck in my head and needs to come out.

There are other projects I’m working on, but this one INSISTS on taking highest priority. When I have two projects and can’t do two in that same morning, she takes high priority.

Three things are taking priority

  1. She’s an angel
  2. She’s sad
  3. She’s playing a harp (jury is out as to whether she’s actually playing it or not.
  4. There’s a fallen tree

If I could sum up what my brain is trying to do given the things that have to be consistent, I think there’s some important lesson I need to learn. At my core, I’m sick of ugly art. I strive to make my art beautiful, to celebrate what’s good and beautiful.

There’s something dark though that’s trying to get out. There’s a lot of negative emotion I’m currently struggling with. I think that what I’m supposed to do here is that negative emotion and turn it into something beautiful. Or something like that.

Maybe there’s just something inside that doesn’t make sense that can only make some amount sense if it’s painted.

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